Teenage wasteland

[floydpink]

Ah teens, they never fail to surprise me.

My 17 year old stepdaughter has been very troubled the last years and is now in a drug treatment program.

I blame her friends but have little to do with that as she is not my blood.

Checking through her drawer, I discovered a Walmart bag with some nice filler from a cigar and upon further examination, discovered that she had cut open one of my 2005 Opus X to roll blunts.

Guess it's better than some of my older Cubans...

I was at a loss and stapled a note explaining Phillies would be more appropriate and returned the baggie and won't mention it to her mom.

[G G]

Wow

[Doctorossi]

Well... sorry, but I'm with her, man. I'll take an Opus over a Phillies every time. :ss

[floydpink]

Not an appropriate forum to speak of illegal activities, but we were much more creative when I was growing up in the 80's and carrots, apples, and even toilet paper rolls were fair game for smoking apparatus. Add tin foil to anything and your science teacher would be proud.

Then again, I'm told the stuff they smoke these days is MUCH more potent.

Seriously though, the troubles many teens encounter these days are beyond my wildest imagination and having a preschooler around who IS my blood makes the challenge greater.

[Blueface]

Pete,
I sympathize with you.
My daughter put my wife and I through hell.
The good news is she made it out.
Now at 22 and a mom, she is all grown up.
Stay with them and try to help them out is all we can do.

[floydpink]

Pete,
I sympathize with you.
My daughter put my wife and I through hell.
The good news is she made it out.
Now at 22 and a mom, she is all grown up.
Stay with them and try to help them out is all we can do.

Carlos,
It's so bad, I'd be willing to also be a Grandfather to make her grow the he'll up.
She's got 3 months before she's 18 and I'm trying to emphasize how serious the consequences get at that point.

[DPD6030]

Sorry to hear that Pete. I hope she gets the help she needs.

[dunng]

Opus X... :bh

[mosesbotbol]

With a family to fall back on, a child won't make them grow up any faster. Certain realities will set in, but growth has to come from within.

[tobii3]

Call the USMC Recruiter.

Schedule an appointment for her.

If that doesn't wake her the &^%$ up....

[loki]

well....that's one way to make an opus taste better

[RightAJ]

Call the USMC Recruiter.

Schedule an appointment for her.

If that doesn't wake her the &^%$ up....

Lol I love you Tobii no homo hahaha

aj

[s15driftking]

I side with her, i'd much rather roll a phatty with an opus than a philly....

[BillyCigars]

I feel for you brother and hope that everything works out.

That said, that had to be like one of the best blunts ever! :D

[coastietech]

Pete as much as it sucks right now chances are she'll get through it. I ended up in rehab for about 6 months when I was 16-17... The one thing I learned there that has helped me through life is moderation.

Family will be very necessary during this time. Hopefully everything works out for the best.

The military is actually a great idea not only because of the structure but also because it will take her to a new place to make a new start. It will get her away from her old friends and out of her old habits.

[Scothew]

I went through similar situations with my Ex wifes two younger sibilings. drugs, wrecks, a sexual assault, and countless more things I don't care to remember. Hanging out with the wrong crowds is the worst thing for them period. In this case it didn't help that their mom was in and out or rehab more than i've ever seen anyone in my life.

All you can do is pray and be supportive for them. One of them acctually ended up going into the army but didn't make it pass boot camp due to health issue that arose, but i'll say she has turned out better than any of them all.

My ex's brother was supposed to go into the navy, but the elistment date keeps getting stalled back for various reasons.. once was a DUI I believe. The Jury is still out on his future.

[Mikhail]

Well at lest she is not drinking... An old friend, who was in the coastes, told me one time his friend found some pot in his sons drawer. What he did is cut small bits of rubber bands and put that in the mix. If that doesn't work I'm sorry. Also, does she know the full scope of what will happen if she gets busted???

Best of luck and PM me if you want a youngsters POV and ideas(I'm 21).

[floydpink]

Man, I knew I'd get some great insight here.

Great thing about it is although my wife is obviously crushed, she is backing me as far as rules and discipline go.

This girl had it rough as she arrived as a middle schooler from Brazil and was much more "developed" than the other girls and drew much attention from the boys. This caused her to be in several fights and she learned to be tough.

My older brother is a Sgt up in Jersey and spent a recent visit telling my stepdaughter all of my teen troubles which didn't help either coming from a cop who still teases me about some pretty crazy stuff.

My first reaction was to kick her out in 3 months when she is 18, but know this is the time she needs us the most.

I'll as her to use my Jose L Piedras for any further blunt rolling.:r

On a serious note, she is looking into the military and I personally would gain a whole lot of respect for her if she chose that route opposed to the one she is headed on.

[tobii3]

Tell her to join the Airborne, she'll learn to REALLY "Fly"....:D

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Tell her to join the Airborne, she'll learn to REALLY "Fly"....:D

:r

[Conch Republican]

Hang in there Pete - it sucks sometimes.

[mosesbotbol]

This girl had it rough as she arrived as a middle schooler from Brazil and was much more "developed" than the other girls and drew much attention from the boys. This caused her to be in several fights and she learned to be tough.

I know all about Brazilian women... Keep to the highroad and be consistent in your authority. It's a harder to be a be parent and many "parents' fall back and try to be their children's friend and that is not what she needs right now.

Structure and leading by example. Sounds like you are active and doing the right thing.

Beyond military, she may want to consider a trade/vocation school.

[Blueface]

Pete,
I had two incidents I considered kicking my daughter out.
On the second one, I did.
I now regret it.

My daughter was a challenge since 16.
Tried to OD. Will never forget the day I found her in the bathroom floor and drove at over 100 miles per hour the two miles to get her to the hospital down the road.
Had her Baker Acted, which was a very tough decision to make.
Lots of counseling.
Packed up and moved out at 18.
Back at home again within 9 months as could not afford it as she thought she would.
Then, within a few months, pregnant.

I was just so flustered at that point that I threw her out.
I immediately reconsidered my actions based on anger primarily and took the approach of support and dialogue.
Seems that when I stopped being an authority figure with her and acted more like someone that truly cared about her, it broke her down and let us finally into that tough closed world of hers at the time.

We now have a wonderful grandchild and a great relationship. My wife and her have more dialogue than in the previous years all summed up. At 22, she is now a great mom, hard worker, back in college, and looking to keep her family life with her baby's father in tact.

Point of all this "personal" stuff most won't share is we all go through these tough hurdles in one form or another. I think what I learned is the more I was tough, with no illustration of empathy, the less it worked. Once I took the "guidance" approach rather than the "authority as your father", we finally got through to her.

You have my number. Call me any time to talk if you need to. Man have I been here where you are now.

[qwerty1500]

The single greatest tragedy of my life is the non-relationship with our one and only child who is now 28. We thought we had a good relationship with her, probably spoiled her too much. We had no idea how she really felt about us until her secret life came to light one summer day eight years ago. It has been a nightmare since then. We have tried everything we could imagine to communicate or even to find out why she feels the way she does. Nothing has worked ... we feel like total failures but we are not going to give up.

My heart goes out to you and to everyone else who dearly loves their troubled children.

[Skywalker]

Maybe it was a special occasion!!!:rolleyes: