The Gorilla Finger of doom!!!!

[Wanger]

As many may of you know, Simon had a plan to hit me with a Gorilla Finger. I told him that if he had ever sent one to me, I'd smoke it. He didn't send it to me. He handed it to me in Vegas. It was in a large ziploc inside it's own single stick ziploc. I don't think it was enough!!!!!

I decided after a couple decent sticks one day at Pheasant in Vegas that it was time to do it. I took it out of the outer bag, and found the individual bag to be sticky to the touch. NOT a good sign. It was like a layer of grease had dried on it. If only that was the worst of it. I took the stick out of it inner bag and the perfume smell hit right away. I wasn't having second thoughts, as when I say I'll do something, I mean it. But I knew I would be in for some punishment. :( The cigar and the band were sticky to the touch, too. WTF did I get myself into, I was thinking.

Being blinded by the task that was in front of me (smoking the huge, nasty cigar), I did not realize that it was pre-cut, and cut it. I think the cutter should have been sterilized afterwards. So I take a draw, and realize that I'm truly in for some pain. It was nasty. It was like the roller spilled a botle of perfume on the thing. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lit the thing and started puffing away. It was putrid! I've smoked a Cremosa before, and I can say that was a pleasant experience compared to this. Within ~2 minutes, my lips started to go numb. Unfortunately, my tongue did not. :mad: It lit fairly easily (not surprisingly with all the petrochemicals used to flavor this thing), drew easily (which thankfully made it smoke quicker), and burned fairly cleanly.

How do I describe the flavor. First off...NASTY. It tasted like perfume, and not good perfume. It was like cheap nasty stuff that even would make a French whorehouse smeel like dasies. Because of whatever they used to give it that horrid flavor, it lasted on the tongue FAR too long and kept building throughout the whole cigar (if you can call it a cigar). It stuck there and stayed and got worse and worse and worse. I'm not sure that it was even made of tobacco, and the only thing I tasted was that perfume.

I kept puffing and puffing on it, and tried to get through it. I was like a leper while I smoked it, as no one wanted to be near me (and I don't blame them!). Everyone in the shop (95% of them were there for E.L.V.I.S.) weren't giving me too hard of a time, though. I drank Dr. Pepper to try to clear the flavor out of my mouth. It helped, but not much. The scum left on my tongue was just TOOOOOO heavy to get rid of. I think I went through 3 cans while smoking it.

It got to the point where my fingers were getting warm, and I was given a nub tool to finish it. By then, I was thinking I never should have agreed to smoke it. How could anyone ever choose to smoke something that should be considered hazardous waste? WTF? Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!! I finally smoked the thing as far as I could, which was much farther than I truly wanted to, but a deal's a deal. I pitched the nub and immediately went to the bathroom to wash the tool, as well as my hands. They were literally sticky from it. No puking, but I think that would have tasted better. :pu

After finishing it, I felt like taking sandpaper to my tongue to get rid of that taste. I drank more Dr. Pepper and went outside to spit, hoping that would help. needless to say, it was several hours before I lit up anything else, and it wasn't something spectacular, so I didn't miss out on anything.

Here is a one word review of it: RUN. Run as far away as fast as you can if you ever see one. I can't imagine a worse cigar available, and don't want to try to find or sample one, either, EVER.

I will conclude my review by stating that I did not have a camera there to take pictures, but several others did. I will say that I honestly did not play up and looks that I was giving for the camera. It was that bad!!!! Hopefully a few of those with pics will put them up soon in this thread.

[tuxpuff]

haha great review...sounds like a real gem.

[DMK]

http://www.pcmtl.com/public/misc/this_thread_is_worthless_without_pics.gif

[G G]

Nice review, when I saw those with the Tulip Twins in Gainesville I knew I didn't have what it takes to try one. Two thumbs up to you for doing it.

[kelmac07]

Told you...didn't I?

[GreekGodX]

I'm sick just reading this!

[adampc22]

http://www.pcmtl.com/public/misc/this_thread_is_worthless_without_pics.gif

what that bloke said

[Don Fernando]

Mike lies, he loved it. Anybody need his address? :r

[Catfish]

Mike lies, he loved it. Anybody need his address? :r

ROFL!!!!!!! :r:r:r:r

[taltos]

I heard that Steve Victor has always wanted to try one of these.:D

[Partagaspete]

As many may of you know, Simon had a plan to hit me with a Gorilla Finger. I told him that if he had ever sent one to me, I'd smoke it. He didn't send it to me. He handed it to me in Vegas. It was in a large ziploc inside it's own single stick ziploc. I don't think it was enough!!!!!

I decided after a couple decent sticks one day at Pheasant in Vegas that it was time to do it. I took it out of the outer bag, and found the individual bag to be sticky to the touch. NOT a good sign. It was like a layer of grease had dried on it. If only that was the worst of it. I took the stick out of it inner bag and the perfume smell hit right away. I wasn't having second thoughts, as when I say I'll do something, I mean it. But I knew I would be in for some punishment. :( The cigar and the band were sticky to the touch, too. WTF did I get myself into, I was thinking.

Being blinded by the task that was in front of me (smoking the huge, nasty cigar), I did not realize that it was pre-cut, and cut it. I think the cutter should have been sterilized afterwards. So I take a draw, and realize that I'm truly in for some pain. It was nasty. It was like the roller spilled a botle of perfume on the thing. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lit the thing and started puffing away. It was putrid! I've smoked a Cremosa before, and I can say that was a pleasant experience compared to this. Within ~2 minutes, my lips started to go numb. Unfortunately, my tongue did not. :mad: It lit fairly easily (not surprisingly with all the petrochemicals used to flavor this thing), drew easily (which thankfully made it smoke quicker), and burned fairly cleanly.

How do I describe the flavor. First off...NASTY. It tasted like perfume, and not good perfume. It was like cheap nasty stuff that even would make a French whorehouse smeel like dasies. Because of whatever they used to give it that horrid flavor, it lasted on the tongue FAR too long and kept building throughout the whole cigar (if you can call it a cigar). It stuck there and stayed and got worse and worse and worse. I'm not sure that it was even made of tobacco, and the only thing I tasted was that perfume.

I kept puffing and puffing on it, and tried to get through it. I was like a leper while I smoked it, as no one wanted to be near me (and I don't blame them!). Everyone in the shop (95% of them were there for E.L.V.I.S.) weren't giving me too hard of a time, though. I drank Dr. Pepper to try to clear the flavor out of my mouth. It helped, but not much. The scum left on my tongue was just TOOOOOO heavy to get rid of. I think I went through 3 cans while smoking it.

It got to the point where my fingers were getting warm, and I was given a nub tool to finish it. By then, I was thinking I never should have agreed to smoke it. How could anyone ever choose to smoke something that should be considered hazardous waste? WTF? Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!! I finally smoked the thing as far as I could, which was much farther than I truly wanted to, but a deal's a deal. I pitched the nub and immediately went to the bathroom to wash the tool, as well as my hands. They were literally sticky from it. No puking, but I think that would have tasted better. :pu

After finishing it, I felt like taking sandpaper to my tongue to get rid of that taste. I drank more Dr. Pepper and went outside to spit, hoping that would help. needless to say, it was several hours before I lit up anything else, and it wasn't something spectacular, so I didn't miss out on anything.

Here is a one word review of it: RUN. Run as far away as fast as you can if you ever see one. I can't imagine a worse cigar available, and don't want to try to find or sample one, either, EVER.

I will conclude my review by stating that I did not have a camera there to take pictures, but several others did. I will say that I honestly did not play up and looks that I was giving for the camera. It was that bad!!!! Hopefully a few of those with pics will put them up soon in this thread.

Did you not read my warning/review? You silly, silly man. I think I'll try the cremosa this weekend and I bet I will enjoy it more.

T

Edit: Did you get the headhache? and I will tell you I smoked a boli cjr shortrly after it and it was the best cjr ever!!!!

[Wanger]

Told you...didn't I?

Yes you did, but I told him I'd do it, so I did.

Never got the headache, Pete, thankfully.

Ferdinand...Simon will sell me out in a heartbeat. No need to take offers for my addy. LOL

Come fellow E.L.V.I.S. attendees with cameras...who's got the pics. I remember some being taken.

[Volt]

Gorillafinger pics ok - no mankini pics...

[Wanger]

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/DSC02017.jpg
The start.

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/DSC02019.jpg
First real taste= nasty.

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/DSC02024.jpg
Notice the buffer zone around me.

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/DSC02029.jpg
Just after getting the nub tool. Notice the Dr. Peppers in front of me.

As for Mankini pics...I know there are a few around. Post 'em if you got 'em. I smoked a Gorilla Finger...I have no dignity!!! LOL

[Jbailey]

Congratulations you won another Gorilla Finger! Lars will be in contact with you. :D

[alley00p]

Mike, you're a braver man than I am!!! :ss

After seeing (and smelling) that damn thing, I decided that I would give up cigar smoking before doing a gorilla finger!! :pu

ATTN: ELVIS herfers... post them Wanger mankini pics now... you heard him, after smoking that nasty thing, he figgers that those pics could only raise his stature on the board! :D


:dance:

[MajorCaptSilly]

Sounds fantastic! Since I don't have one, I'm going to spray one of my cigars with Glade Air Freshener and try it tomorrow!

MCS

[alley00p]

Sounds fantastic! Since I don't have one, I'm going to spray one of my cigars with Glade Air Freshener and try it tomorrow!

MCS

No, no, no!!! That's not even close! :eek:

Maybe find 2 or 3 cheap bottles of perfume, dump those in with a jar of Murphy's Oil Soap, take a big dog rocket and soak it for about a week or so, then let it dry out and "age" for a month or so. :tu

Then Smoke it!!!

Whatya think, Mike? Is that close? :r :r


:wo

[Ashcan Bill]

Yeah, watching him smoke that thing made me realize there's no bottom to the depths of human masochism. :r

Mike is one tough dude.

[DavenportESQ]

I just vomited in my mouth thinking about this

[AllOGistics]

I witnessed this event, and it was terrible. Everyone couldn't help but feel bad for him. Just smelling the smoke was rancid- I couldn't actually imagine the taste.

[Don Fernando]

I witnessed this event, and it was terrible. Everyone couldn't help but feel bad for him. Just smelling the smoke was rancid- I couldn't actually imagine the taste.

not everyone, I loved seeing Mike go tru this horrid cigar :ss

[taltos]

My nephew is a hard person. That is why I love him and am glad that I met him.:D

[Wanger]

No, no, no!!! That's not even close! :eek:

Maybe find 2 or 3 cheap bottles of perfume, dump those in with a jar of Murphy's Oil Soap, take a big dog rocket and soak it for about a week or so, then let it dry out and "age" for a month or so. :tu

Then Smoke it!!!

Whatya think, Mike? Is that close? :r :r


:wo

Don't forget the aging time in a litterbox used by 10 cats, Charlie.

And Bill, I don't think I'd use the word "tough" to describe me. Stupid and gullible fit better.

[Wanger]

Pictures were reorganized...need to relink them...

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/Vegas/DSC02017.jpg

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/Vegas/DSC02019.jpg

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/Vegas/DSC02024.jpg

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/Vegas/DSC02029.jpg

[Don Fernando]

sorry bout that Mike, just needed to organize stuff. 1200+ pics in one big folder makes me itchy.

[Steve]

Nice review, when I saw those with the Tulip Twins in Gainesville I knew I didn't have what it takes to try one. Two thumbs up to you for doing it.

Wow...

[akumushi]

Well guys, this explains everything. Check out the second meaning of "gorilla finger" in the urban dictionary:
Human fecal matter. Generally sitting at the bottom of the toilet.
See Lincoln logs.
"Aw man, someone left some gorilla fingers in the toilet."
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gorilla%20fingers

[Wanger]

Well guys, this explains everything. Check out the second meaning of "gorilla finger" in the urban dictionary:
Human fecal matter. Generally sitting at the bottom of the toilet.
See Lincoln logs.
"Aw man, someone left some gorilla fingers in the toilet."
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gorilla%20fingers

Pretty much fits for them!!!

[dentonparrots]

These things seem to be legendary....gotta try me one!

[SmokeyNL]

These things seem to be legendary....gotta try me one!

If I had more I would send you one, but I had 3 left prior to this trip, one got
smoked in VA, one in Vegas and one I gave to one of the guys who worked
at corona cigars after he begged me for one to try (true story, Aldrin, Kevin
and green lantern can confirm it)


Mike was a brave man to keep his word on this, I hope some of the other
cigars I gave him made up for it :D

[LasciviousXXX]

LOL, the pics are priceless!!!!

[kelmac07]

Simon...you had someone beg for one of these? Bet they were begging for some new taste buds afterwards...LOL!!

[Don Fernando]

LOL, the pics are priceless!!!!

Then look at this pic. This is Paul aka T-Bone after one puff of the Gorillafinger. He ran to the restroom to vomit, and when he looked up he saw the flash of my camera :r

http://i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww129/herfingusa/Virginia/DSC01927.jpg

[LasciviousXXX]

AHAHAHAHA! Nice pic bro :tu

[Wanger]

If I had more I would send you one, but I had 3 left prior to this trip, one got
smoked in VA, one in Vegas and one I gave to one of the guys who worked
at corona cigars after he begged me for one to try (true story, Aldrin, Kevin
and green lantern can confirm it)


Mike was a brave man to keep his word on this, I hope some of the other
cigars I gave him made up for it :D

Simon, they MORE than made up for it. LOL The Dunhill and the Partagas XV were sublime. Remember my comment to Charlie? :D

[adampc22]

These things seem to be legendary....gotta try me one!

wait for the herf man i have something for you thats is much werse or is that better :confused: no its werse

[blooz4u]

Yuck... keep those away from me!

[SmokeyNL]

wait for the herf man i have something for you thats is much werse or is that better :confused: no its werse

worse then a gorillafinger? you sir have obviously never smoked a gorillafinger, if you had you would not talk about worse :D

[Texan in Mexico]

Way to take one for the team! At least this helps you appreciate your other sticks a bit more.

[Jimbo14]

yum they look tasty!!!!! I cant wait to buy a box!

[Don Fernando]

Gorilla Fingers are a luxury cigar that everyone deserves to try at least once. Be careful though you might get hooked. With tobaccos aged from 3 to 8 years, this African Cameroon wrapped cigar in raw form is incredible in itself and is described by many as being better than most $30 super premium cigars on the market.

I read (http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/Gorilla-Fingers-Premium-Cigars-22838) it on the internet, so it must be true.

[kelmac07]

I read (http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/Gorilla-Fingers-Premium-Cigars-22838) it on the internet, so it must be true.

Were the people interviewed delerious, insane, intoxicated, etc...LOL!!!

[Wanger]

Were the people interviewed delerious, insane, intoxicated, etc...LOL!!!

I'm guessing they were, after actually smoking one!!!!!! Sonova*****, I can't get over how bad that thing was!

[kelmac07]

Well Mike...not many people can say they have "tackled" this thing.

[Don Fernando]

you guys are just noobs, wannabees who don't know it when they have a top shelve cigar in their hands. Fine by me, just stick to your inferior Pepins, Tats and Cuban cigars and let the Gorillafingers be smoked by the true aficionado.
























:r

[kelmac07]

you guys are just noobs, wannabees who don't know it when they have a top shelve cigar in their hands. Fine by me, just stick to your inferior Pepins, Tats and Cuban cigars and let the Gorillafingers be smoked by the true aficionado.

:r

Ferdie, survey says???????????????? WRONG!!!

You true aficionado you!!!